[Aldnoah.Zero AU] the beautiful and damned

[galactically]

[The Princess of Vers finds herself trapped in a maze of turmoil and confusion. Visions of black-tailed gulls soaring across an endless blue sky fill her head as she vividly recalls standing next to a Terran boy, singing so freely without a care in the world. But many images flood her mind at once, so much so that she's clutching her head. It hurts.

There were a pair of hands choking her, a gun pointed at her head followed by a fellow Versian girl's stream of tears and shouts of hatred at the empire she came from. There was a landing castle, her own hand touching the glowing orb of light with a dramatic plea to shut it down. She clutched a bleeding hand, not her own but that same Terran boy's, a strained smile upon her lips until the sound of a bullet snapped her head up, a painful gasp as she turned to see her assassin before she fell.

And then it fades to black.

It's been nineteen months of Sheryl Vers Nome singing propaganda songs in the name of Vers. Nineteen months of giving heartfelt yet soulless speeches for the masses. Nineteen months with missing pieces of herself, dealing with the holes in her memory while she tries her best to remain herself around her fellow citizens. It's only after talking to her handmaiden and a few servants that she finally found the truth, once she's finished dealing with a migraine.

"Just who the hell do you think you are? Do you expect me, Sheryl Vers Nome, to believe that my precious Slaine has been waging war in my name?!"

Except she refuses to believe it. Sheryl has been isolated from Slaine, save for an idle conversation here and there while her memories were scrambled. Even worse, her grandfather's already deteriorating health has been growing worse until he's at the brink of death. Everything is crumbling down.

But she must set aside her own personal failings and do one thing: confront her childhood friend. It's a tricky task when he's usually very secretive, but let it be known that Sheryl always finds a way to create chinks in his armor.

Which is why she uses her optical camouflage to disguise herself as Slaine's most loyal manservant, standing right in front of his personal chambers at Castle Troyard.]

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[ex_adept179]

[When the door to Slaine's chambers slides open, he finds himself startled to see Harklight stationed right there. He could swear the man had other matters to attend to, ones he had in fact issued to him, but here he is. For a moment he can only stare up at him, perplexed. Although he knows Harklight to be an efficient and industrious man, it wasn't possible for him to already be finished with what Slaine had asked of him]

Is... [He begins, finding himself quite unsure how to address something this anomalous, having very nearly walked headlong into him on his way out the door] Is something the matter, Sir Harklight?

[No matter how many times they may debate the matter, he continues to insist upon addressing his right-hand man with respect. The differences in their current standing aren't sufficient to change this for him. At one time they were both among the lowest ranks, and he'll never forget that, regardless of what influence he might rise to.

The one he views differently is himself. As time wears on, his hands become dirtier, stained with blood that he can't ever wash off. Though he hadn't started the war, he had inherited the cause, and he's continued at the helm because there was nothing for it. If not him, someone else would take on that role, doubtless someone who wouldn't care what they were destroying so long as it was on Terran soil, be it military or civilian.

His power feels like a facade when he thinks on it too long, or too deeply. He wants to steer the Orbital Knights in the direction of something positive, but he has his doubts. So much maneuvering, so much plotting, and so many plans and provisions...

In truth, Slaine feels so tired. But it isn't finished yet — he isn't finished yet]

[galactically]

[Once the door slides open to reveal Slaine in that pristine count uniform, even Sheryl can't help but gape at how flattering those garbs fit him. Nevermind that she'd already seen him in it a few times in between using the throne room and spending time at the Moon Base. Nevermind that she should get used to him in those clothes after nineteen months. She can distinctly remember Slaine in the standard blue uniform like it was yesterday, saying her goodbyes and giving him a kiss on the cheek before she traveled to Earth.

Nineteen months with holes in her memory that are just now recently filled. She wants answers, and she plans to make Slaine give them to her.

After quickly blinking and setting aside her surprised look, she clears her throat and bows her head like she'd seen Harklight do.]

Milord Slaine, I must talk to you about a very important matter.

[Sheryl fights the urge to crease her forehead after hearing a deep, manly voice out of her mouth. Oh, the conveniences of having the Aldnoah activation factor.

Either way, Slaine sounds... soft. Not quite the same softness as she remembers, but it's there nonetheless, like a piece of his old self still remains. But has he truly changed into a different man? Only one way to find out.]

It's about Princess Sheryl.

[Good thing she can act.]

[ex_adept179]

[Slaine's shoulders tense, something that might be well-hidden under the layers of his Count attire. He tries to keep the concern from his features between the suggestion of an important matter and the mention of Princess Sheryl. Far too many things might have gone terribly wrong somehow, and he sets his jaw as he tries to keep his imagination from getting ahead of him.

He should first hear out what Harklight has to say and go from there. Keeping that thought in mind, he steps aside and gestures for the other man to enter the room, that they might discuss the matter in private]

In that case, please join me here.

[Although he'd meant to address other matters, he doesn't believe this can wait. If Harklight has come to speak with him, he's sure that it truly must be important as he says. And if it concerns the princess, it's not something that he thinks he ought to put off]

[galactically]

[This is the first time Sheryl gets to see what Slaine's new bedroom looks like with his rise in rank, so for once, she steps inside without the usual confident gait. Her eyes take in the view, widening with each second she spends glancing at every corner of the room.]

It's... beautiful. [She abruptly pauses, looking away with a soft huff of breath.] Sorry, I was distracted!

[Oh, shoot. Did she slip out of character so soon? Sheryl turns her back to Slaine, folding her arms across her chest, and quickly observing that it feels so different without her large breasts. Anyway, her tone shifts into something grave, complete with the slightest tension in her brows.]

... I overheard Her Highness having an argument with the other servants about you, Milord.

[That's a lie. Sheryl just admitted her own mistake in front of Slaine under the guise of an overhearing. A pause ensues, then she turns her head to watch his expression.]

Although she had defended you, she wanted to hear the truth from you on her own. What do you say to that?

[ex_adept179]

[The comment on his quarters was strange enough, both for the fact that Harklight had seen it before and his lack of inclination to say such things. He's even more suspicious when a very casual apology follows. As much as he's tried to get Harklight to relax formalities between them on some level, Slaine has never been successful in this regard, and he recognizes the behavior as pointedly uncharacteristic.

He watches the man's back skeptically, wondering what could have possibly gotten into him. This isn't like the man he knows at all, which leads him to think that something must be very wrong. For a brief instant his eyes narrow in thought, but he smooths the pensive frown from his expression when Harklight turns back to face him.

Although Harklight is his right-hand man, he hasn't heard him refer to others as servants. Not only that, but he's been elevated to knight, a distinction which was well-observed despite his background. Now his inquiry sounds much more like a proxy than anything that he would expect of Harklight. Even the way he's posed this question is without his usual language and posture. There may be many things each of them keeps from the other, but he can see the difference.

...Curious]

I should imagine Her Highness would question me directly, were she so inclined.

[Slaine states evenly, waiting to see what sort of response this prompts. Harklight wouldn't have asked him for an answer — wouldn't have acted as an intermediary unless he'd been instructed.

He would not have said what do you say to that? as though expecting he should answer to him. Something is wrong, though he can't yet decide what it is]

[galactically]

["Her Highness". As formal as ever, Sheryl observes, an aspect of Slaine that hasn't changed at all despite looking a lot calmer than how he used to be. No matter how many times she tries to coax him into relaxing and being less formal around her, it's an uphill battle when it comes to him. There have been so many thing she's learned from her stay on Earth, from adopting less formal slang to knowing the real reason as to why the sky is blue, that she wants to tell Slaine everything.

But his statement brings nothing but doubts bubbling up from within her.]

Her Highness has doubts that you would tell her the truth.

[Sheryl pauses, keeping her back turned to Slaine. From what she knows of him, he always seem to be the type of man to keep to himself. It's only a matter of time before a certain truth is revealed, though.

Closing her eyes, she lets out a faint sigh.]

She has gained all of her memories back.

[ex_adept179]

[So many matters between them aren't fully understood. In the time since Sheryl lost her memory, Slaine has come to understand that. They didn't know each other as well as he would have always liked to imagine, and on some level he'd known that all along. Others amounted to different perspective and different methods of communication. These small things, seemingly innocuous, have built up between them in such as way as to make him feel that some insurmountable wall exists between them.

It's one he doesn't feel worthy to trespass over, and that feeling grows stronger by the day. And Slaine is sure that it's a fault in him rather than her. Something like her taking a stranger's explanation of why the sky is blue over his would compound it, if he knew, despite the fact that they had actually described the same phenomenon in different terms. Of course, this falls firmly under the category of things he does not, and may not ever know.

He finds it curious that Harklight keeps his back to him now, but he doesn't say anything about it. Torn between this new information and the strangeness of his second's behavior, Slaine is unsure what he wants to do with that bit of information]

So you mean to tell me she regained her memory and spoke to her servants first, is that right?

[Calm. Too calm. He's forcibly placid because he doesn't trust that Harklight hasn't been affected or influenced in some way. While he trusts this man more than any other, that doesn't mean that forces couldn't act upon him]

If such is the case, it is a marvel that the matter has remained quiet.

[galactically]

[Sheryl closes her eyes and sighs, her posture a little rigid than intended but at least she doesn't have to look at Slaine when she speaks. No matter how little he seems to realize (or appreciate in her perspective), she has always thought about him from day in and day out. Ever since she saved his life when they were children, they seemed to be inseparable, and she always loved being by his side. To make his face match the color of her hair, to hug him from behind, to give him kisses on the cheek — he was such a cute thing.

It's only when she felt the weight of her responsibilities as the Princess of Vers that she had to dig a hole and bury her childish side. A dream where both Earth and Vers can co-exist, where both Terrans and Martians can hear the songs that she wants to sing, still remains all thanks to Slaine. And thanks to him, she's willing to do whatever it takes to achieve it — even if she has to stain her hands with blood.

A hypocritical part of her rears its ugly head, thinking of what Slaine has allegedly been doing. Killing off a few Orbital Knights, destroying a UFE base, fighting her Terran friends— no, his own people, even using her image while she's been forced to sing propaganda songs that her heart isn't in for. Supposedly he's been planning an uprising against the very empire she represents, overhearing a few conversations amongst the other counts. It's one thing for her to wage war so her beloved people of Vers can finally not starve and rely on algae and krill, but Slaine?]

Her handmaiden was the very first person Princess Sheryl had spoken to, and witnessed what happened to her.

[Sheryl may be many things, but stupid is not one of them. She had to be spontaneously deaf to not hear how forced her friend sounds when he's too calm for her liking. Something is definitely wrong with him, and she plans to figure out why.

She hesitates, pressing her lips into a thin line before she parts them to speak, her tone a bit fragile.]

And... I saw her use the audience chamber to speak with the Emperor. Milord, I'm afraid there is no time left.

[Mentioning all that while pretending to be someone else to fool her own friend hurts.]

[ex_adept179]

[As much as that sudden development is an alarming one, Slaine can't let himself lose his composure in front of Harklight. He wrestles with his thoughts in silence for a collection of moments, attempting to turn the situation about in his mind and take it in from different angles. No matter how he does look at it though, he can't think of a single thing he could do to mitigate or undo the probable damage that would result.

If Princess Sheryl has already spoken with her grandfather, and if she's questioning his actions, it's highly likely there is only one way that the situation will play out. As a Terran, his credibility has already been under marked scrutiny. With this, there's no talking his way out of it. And he knows any forces rallied to this cause will be divided.

They'll turn on him, if not one another]

If she has already gone that far...I can do nothing for it.

[Slaine hadn't anticipated that things would play out this way, but he'll brace himself for the worst. And that means that he needs to see to damage control for those around him, as best he's capable]

In that event...I dismiss you from my service. [Something behind his eyes hardens, because this is something that hurts to say, but he doesn't want to drag Harklight down with him. He'd wanted to create a world where a man of such merit could succeed by it, but he'll only destroy him at this rate] You had no awareness of the nature of my actions. I deceived you. They will believe that.

[He's sure the nobility will, for in their shortsightedness, they underestimated the capacity of the lower classes along with Terrans. Harklight could escape this — the consequences will be his alone.

Slaine hasn't forgotten that Harklight's behavior is strange...but he does grant it could be due to the gravity of this information. Whatever is wrong, it doesn't change the fact that he should distance himself from anyone who might be affected by what's to come]

[galactically]

[Sheryl slowly turns to face Slaine just in time to hear those words out of his mouth. To say that she is surprised to hear them is an understatement; her eyes practically open up like saucers as though she's been doused with cold water to jolt her awake. The way he hardens his gaze doesn't escape her notice, either.

He just fired his own manservant.

No, this isn't right. He wouldn't just cast someone aside unless... this is his own way of isolating himself.]

But... why? You and I— [She quickly corrects herself with a shake of her head.] Princess Sheryl wanted peace between Earth and Vers more than anyone!

[Congratulations, Slaine, you made your "servant" distraught. And who is "they"? Does he mean the other Orbital Knights? Herself and her grandfather? Either way, she clenches her fist and presses it against her chest.]

If you truly care... then allow me to stay with you till the very end! I do not care that you are a Terran, just let me understand you!

[ex_adept179]

She wants that, but not on terms that benefit so many third-class citizens. [He shakes his head, puffing out a quiet, tense sigh] But there's nothing I can do for that but mitigate damage now.

[If the Princess has already spoken with her grandfather, there's very little he can achieve at this point. Slaine hasn't the standing to address the Emperor himself and put out any fires, and he has no doubt that he'll be branded a traitor for his actions and made an example of.

To that end, all that remains to do is separate himself from anyone who could suffer unduly on his account. And that naturally includes Harklight, a man who had only ever fulfilled his duties in a manner anyone could call admirable.

Granted, he's still questioning the behavior of his present company, but the more this conversation goes on, the more he can suss out]

If I cannot go any further than this, better that I be alone. [And selfish as he may be, he can't doom Harklight along with him] My order stands; I have no further use for your assistance where I will go.

[galactically]

[The longer Slaine speaks, the more Sheryl's chest hurts and stings until cracks are threatening to form under her current veneer. This also confirms an unwanted suspicion: that he's definitely isolating himself. He's better off alone, he says, even if he has to push aside his manservant.

Unfortunately, it seems that he's obtained an unsavory impression of her, that what she does won't benefit the very people she's trying to help. Do they know so little of each other despite their friendship? Nineteen months have changed between them, after all.

Sheryl remains silent for a moment, letting it all sink in as she closes her eyes, her shoulders noticeably trembling like a leaf until she finally speaks.]

A man should never have to deal with the burden alone. You taught me that.

[Her voice is low, sounding utterly soft in a considerably un-Harklight manner, as though she's stopped pretending to be her friend's servant. Her own sigh is as tense, puffing out of her trembling lips.]

You were the one who also taught me about Earth, didn't you? [A pregnant pause.] That co-existence between Earth and Vers will be possible... Slaine.

[ex_adept179]

[One would be incorrect in saying that Slaine's posture is ever a terribly relaxed thing when in the company of others. Now, though, he stiffens at the sound of those last words. Harklight had ostensibly refused to call him anything but milord, no matter how he tried to assure him that it wasn't necessary in private. More than that, the words are simply something that the other man would not say.

It's a simple enough matter from there to conclude that the person to whom he is speaking isn't Harklight at all. As suspicious as he'd found the behavior of present company, it's still something he'd been reluctant to decide up to this point, but now there isn't any denying it.

Very few have access to the kind of technology that this would demand]

...I see no reason to maintain the pretense of being Sir Harklight.

[The words come out cautiously. A little too calmly. There's an undercurrent of strain there, if one were to listen closely for it, because his sentiments regarding who this must be are entirely too loaded, especially when bearing in mind the tenor of this exchange]

1/2

[galactically]

[No point in continue pretending to be someone who she isn't, not when she gained just enough answers to finally reveal herself. Not nearly enough to her liking, but she learned new things about Slaine. None of which she liked.

All of which spurred alarm.]

... Count Slaine Saazbaum Troyard.

[Quietly as Sheryl announces her friend's full name may sound, fragility in the edges of her tone, it's nonetheless filled with as much conviction as the Princess of Vers is supposed to have. Actually, there is some subtle razor sharpness if Slaine listens closely. Hah, Saazbaum. The name of the man who orchestrated her assassination, isn't it? He admitted it as much to her on Earth, that he hated the very empire she came from. And now Slaine gets to share his name.

But she'd be a fool if she didn't take into account how readily he tried to push his right-hand man away to isolate himself. Or how he mentioned the third-class citizens as proof that he cared for them as much as she does.

So there is only one choice left to do.]

[galactically]

[In a blink of an eye, "Harklight"'s entire body is enveloped in a white light before colorful sparks disperse across the air. In his place should be a sight familiar to Slaine.

A woman with long, flowing pink hair stands in front of him, dressed in a fancy blue dress with a single earring dangling from her right ear. As she tips her chin up to bore her gaze into Slaine's, unwavering as her posture, a lone tear pricks at the corner of her left eye and slides across her cheek.

To say that she is hurt is an understatement, and now Slaine gets to hear exactly how she feels: through her shouts across the room as she clenches her fists.]

Just who the hell do you think you are to make those useless decisions like that?! Why the hell are you doing this?! Tell me, Slaine!

[ex_adept179]

[By this time, that revelation isn't as much of a surprise as it might have been. There was only one person who'd speak to him that way, and it assuredly wasn't Harklight. The body-language had been wrong, and the words had been wrong, and the more they spoke the more apparent this became. He doesn't so much as bat an eye when Sheryl makes her presence known, not even in the face of her frustration and hurt.

Despite holding some small hope that it might be otherwise, a part of him has always known something like this was an inevitability. The reality of it settles into his awareness in such a way that he knows it for fact, yet the full weight won't strike down until later when he has room to process it]

Would my answer truly make much difference?

[He feels that Sheryl has already made her judgment by now. Rather than ask him directly from the onset, she came under the pretense of being Harklight instead, for whatever that might gain. It speaks to what she expected he would be willing to truthfully tell her, which means she no doubt can't trust whatever response he might give. To that end, was there a point in answering?

Slaine has his doubts]

My actions remain as they are, no matter what I tell you.

[In that reality, there is a certain, undeniable actuality. Whatever she's willing to believe or disbelieve, it doesn't change what he's undertaken, nor the fact that he believes in what he's doing. Even if she condemns it, Slaine believes that it's the only course left to take]

[galactically]

[Today has been too much for Sheryl to deal with, too much for her heart to bear until it shatters into pieces. Her chest hurts, and so do her eyes when she feels the unrelenting sting in them as more tears slip down her cheeks. Clenching her fists, she shakes her head and trembles.]

Yes! Don't make me force you to change your mind, Slaine!

[If she has to use her own rank against him, then so help her... it's impulsive, but Sheryl feels backed into a corner. Desperate times lead to desperate measures, emotional outbursts be damned.]

First my grandfather, now you? Tell me, are you going to leave me all by myself, too?!